PICK A SIDE: Who should make the first move?

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Published January 30, 2020 at 11:55 pm

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Recently, I was at an event when the topic of dating came up.

People started talking about their horror stories involving pursuing a significant other. While it’s safe to say there’s a very real risk of being rejected when asking anyone out, one woman said she believed men should exclusively be the pursuers when it came to relationships.

When asked to explain, she said she believes women shouldn’t ask men out.

After people responded with the obligatory ‘it’s 2020, anyone can do anything’ response, she explained she felt, if a guy wasn’t responding to a woman’s advances, it was a sign he wasn’t interested in her, and she should therefore not ask him out.

As a rebuttal, one of the guys said it might not be that a guy isn’t responding to a woman’s advances as much as he is oblivious to them.

He added that some guys can be pretty dense when it comes to romantic advances, and the fear of uncertainty plus rejection can lead to a guy being too timid to make a move.

However, the woman replied that it’s certainly possible some guys might not pick up on all of a woman’s hints, but it’s incredibly unlikely he would miss all of them, unless of course, he was choosing to, which would mean he didn’t feel the same way about her and wasn’t interested in a romantic relationship.

Another guy said that even if a woman feels she is being very obvious with her hints, short of making the first move, a guy with a very strong fear of rejection could be too terrified to make the first move.

However, another woman said that certain signs are impossible to mistake, and a fear of rejection doesn’t explain not picking up on very obvious hints.

So, Mississauga, what do you think?

When it comes to relationships, who should be the pursuer?

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